a very good friend and i were having a conversation this morning about something thats been on my mind for the last few days and i revealed, which is no real surprise, i am turning 32 in exactly 2 weeks from today.  (he likes to say i'll be two-fifths.  note:  this sounds much more exciting and trickster-esque...  i just may begin telling everyone just that, actually.)

In this talk I also "confessed" to feeling as if i were just 17 last week.

truly.  

i have no idea where the time has gone.  

truly. 

i feverishly begin to re-evaluate my life (uh), what i have done (nothing), what i am doing (uh, nothing), what i will be, should be (drats!) and shouldnt be (and double drats!!),

doing.  

eight weeks + 2 days of non smoking to which i was reminded of and praised by my smoking friend down at the liquor store this afternoon.  he quickly calculated how much money I've saved thus far and the tally was $200.  funny how i don't have that $200 and have somehow already spent that on something else.  somehow.   then i started thinking i should buy myself something..."I deserve a new pair of shoes!"   damnit.  

today i was so motivated in dressing a little sassier to work today and threw on my hot pink, 3 or 4 inch heel boots.  and by hot i mean the color, like  hot pink and hot like sexy and hot like, well, they were actually hot on me today because shockingly it was 91 degrees F in santa monica today, so whatever with this weather on the first of this pumpkin month... I wore my hot pink boots to work today but rode my bike to work this am with nothing on. no, not nothing-nothing- no shoes or socks.  barefoot.  (i like riding with naked feet so straight away after getting this bike i got beach-y barefoot peddles put on) like summer, except this morning was nice and nippy, like a nice autumn, first of october day should be, not hot like i just mentioned which is how it got later, it sure was hot this afternoon while i went outside to read in the shade, sheesh!  so my friend, the tsunami genius from earlier, whose advice i take way more than i should but have a hard time filtering, thought it'd be fine to ride home on my bike in my boots, not IN my boots but with my boots on.  so i did.  everything was fine until i started thinking about if i stopped and the repercussions that may occur with my occasional child-like skid i do while wearing tennis shoes. or, as we chicagoans like to say, gym shoes. i mean, these boots i've had for years, they're cheap and have a slick-ish bottom, no traction.   i get to a light.  its red. i begin to break carefully, no skidding and stop.  the light turns green and as i begin to peddle my heel goes into the slit in the peddle.  i go to pull my foot out and up to get a little more oomph in peddling quicker across this major intersection and my heel is stuck....but just for a moment in real time and in my head a moment or three longer than that.  it happens again, and once more. then there's no more lifting of the foot up and out. it is still. and the short remainder of my bike ride continues on smoothly. hooray.   

This morning as I arrived to work I walked past the lobby television airing CNN, as it usually does.  I noticed, walking out, the bottom of the screen, read:  Earthquake in California.  When I got to my computer, my homepage is CNN, which i barely glance at, skimming headlines/top stories and if something quickly grabs me, I'll click, otherwise, I "plug in" my daily website staples, like gmail and read fluff.  The California Earthquake thing was on the screen along with a subtitle about tsunami's.  This unnerved me, especially since my Mom just had a dream the night before that I was drowning and no one could find me...Not that her dreams have ever been pyschic, as far as we know  thus far, but anxiety jiggling nonetheless.  I click and very briefly skim the article enough to notice, tsunami people/those in danger have only minutes to issue a warning then the people have something like 5-15 to evacuate.... I need to get my dog out of the house and bring her with me to work...or go, um further East, I've got to go and do something.  The anxiety quickly creeps from my palpitating heart down to my near shaken hand to grab the phone to find out how far out the tsunami goes/ will reach us  if we are 2 miles from shore,  my friend tells me "no, we're up too high, but will get the Getty Villa on the PCH."  I panic, still, and calmly say, refreshing the CNN tsunami page that promises within minutes they will issue a warning if there is one to be made, I closed my conversation with said work friend with nervous giggle, "I'm going to have to borrow someone's car to get my baby  (Baby = Cleopatra, the puppy)  once a warning is issued."  He kind of laughs, we both hang up.   I skim once more and  begin to actually read the article and discover, this was in reference to an earthquake the other day, not the one today in central California, we have nothing known to worry about right now and the 5-15 minutes was in reference to giving a warning for tsunami not evacuation before tsunami.  

last night i had a dream a hollywood director whom i have a secret crush on,  phoned me up and very nonchalantly said, "everyone at work knows about you and the leather."

if i'm a quarter jew, do i get to leave work a quarter of the day early?

Oh Lord from what rock hath he crawled from underneathit?!?!?!

My first "boyfriend" 

hmmmm

ahem... 

My ex-boyfriend has comefrom  out of the clear blue(facebook) and found me (on facebook) and (gulp) “friended me”.   

Whyyyyyyyy, God whyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  

As I ponder this question, amongmany now (why am I on facebook, how did he really find me anyway? I'm under myfirst and middle name  preciselyfor reasons like this for heavens sake!!! )  Is he in love with me still!?  Is he on some John Cusack-like-High Fidelity mission where he needs to sort out what his life was before and figure out what exactly messed him up as a kid/in relationships? How come I'm not married?  Wheres my little pony?  Am I a cougar?  Is his plan to “out” and bad mouth meas the girl I was in my capriciousyouth?    Does he want toapologize for being such an asshole to me?  Has hebecome a bible-y Christian and changed his ways? (hmmm….very, VERY doubtful) ormaybe he wants to make amends? Maybe, just MAYbe…  he wants toforget about it all and simply be friends on (I hate you more than ever now)facebook?    Time willtell what this idiot  he has/needs to say to me…. 

you should know i am usually in so much of a rush to do and get somewhere and my neverending thoughts  are, well, neverending, that, i usually enter all of this in from my ipod touch, as previously mentioned)...as i drink my coffee in the morning, missing my old pals red, light and parliament....  I save so many and never, ever, ever feel like theyre perfect so i save them til someone bitches and moans about needing a "blonde-fix" or I feel slightly possessed into going back and re-reading, which usually, after writing, looks like a monkey came and did hyroglyphics. did you knowim just sayin is a random thing to say im just sayin. 

Dear Chicago Olympic Board People, 

yoga has officially taken over my brain.