Oh Lord from what rock hath he crawled from underneathit?!?!?!

My first "boyfriend" 

hmmmm

ahem... 

My ex-boyfriend has comefrom  out of the clear blue(facebook) and found me (on facebook) and (gulp) “friended me”.   

Whyyyyyyyy, God whyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  

As I ponder this question, amongmany now (why am I on facebook, how did he really find me anyway? I'm under myfirst and middle name  preciselyfor reasons like this for heavens sake!!! )  Is he in love with me still!?  Is he on some John Cusack-like-High Fidelity mission where he needs to sort out what his life was before and figure out what exactly messed him up as a kid/in relationships? How come I'm not married?  Wheres my little pony?  Am I a cougar?  Is his plan to “out” and bad mouth meas the girl I was in my capriciousyouth?    Does he want toapologize for being such an asshole to me?  Has hebecome a bible-y Christian and changed his ways? (hmmm….very, VERY doubtful) ormaybe he wants to make amends? Maybe, just MAYbe…  he wants toforget about it all and simply be friends on (I hate you more than ever now)facebook?    Time willtell what this idiot  he has/needs to say to me….