i rode my bike past a car today with a bumper sticker that said: "got jesus?"

what do you mean "got jesus?"???   like in my bedroom closet?  do you have him?  is this a trick question?

  

the last few weeks ive had clothes literally draped everywhere, including and not limited to my couch, tv and over flowing dresser drawers by shoving things in...  my. kitchen. did. not. smell. good.  after a mood boosting 20 mile bike ride gave me the motivation to get to cleaning, and more realistally and honestly, ive run out of candles in my sad attempt in masking the stench from the sink.  both sides of my barbie-sink were and have been full...  and when i ran my water to begin cleaning. the sinks filled up and the smell became more alive.  or dead, whichever way you want to look at it.  this was a serious task underway.  i got through as many dishes as i could before finally finding (read: shoving) a new not so permanent home for the dishes to the temporarily reside.   my apron is on, a lemon to help make my life cleaner smelling again and a god-bless the garbage disposal later, my sink is now un-grossed.  i must admit, i was a little scared to "get in there", i kinda thought a family may have been growing in there. 

while clicking through and watching tv online, all of a sudden a window popped up saying i won a $1000 best buy gift card.  how awesome!!!  i could get tivo, but i dont have tv reception, video game stuff, but i dont play video games, cable?  ....well something great, surely!  i click to receive my gift when i notice the rules a little too late (story of my life!).  ive just been qualified for 3 new credit cards, a columba house and bmg membership, a case of wine and a new car.  uhm, im not really sure how im going to pay for all of this.  OH!  i know!  my new credit cards-YAY!  wait.  more importantly, i hope the car is a volvo.  

I'm not a big news person per se, but this morning while perusing facebook over my morning coffee were friends' statuses from chicago mentioning an earthquake there.  Totally shocked, I clicked to my Chicago Tribune app on my iPod and scrolled through the 'top stories' when I read, one right after the next:  "controversy surrounds Drew Peterson hearsay..."  "plenty of pork in"

Glancing up while enjoying my morning coffee I see my wacky neighbors' bunny on the deck above.  I look to see if perhaps they've got chicken wire along the bottom of the opening--nope.  In a greater effort in saving the bunnys life and myself from watching it leap over the edge to it's demise, I knock on their door.  Weird & pervy dad comes down and opens the door as I struggle to come up with the word balcony as opposed to deck.  I tell him the bunnys up there and I'm sure he's going to jump.  He not-so-shockingly disagrees.  And, between you and I, if I were that bunny, living in that household, I'd absolutely jump.  He reassures me he'll "keep an eye on 'm". Something tells me he won't.  As I offer up my only bunny advice I know to be absolutely true about bunny molars needing to be shaved down regularly by a vet, otherwise their little bunny mouths get sore and they can't eat (that's how we lost Newton, God rest her soul) and eventually starve to death, his ill behaved lab, JoJo, runs out of the house and goes totally ape-shit banshee all over the yard, including, but not limited to, lapping up my morning coffee.  Utterly disgusted I sweetly say, "oh no!  Not my coffee!!" but, it's too late.  I now MUST pour it out and re-make more, I've only had a sip.  I leave my dipshit neighbor with his ill mannered dog, daughter, and suicidal bunny to their own devices to make yet, another pot of coffee.  Heading inside, i hear him furiously trying to coerce the dog into the house while tempting him with a walk while holding the choke chain.  Sadly, the dog outsmarts it's owner, again, and continues romping about.  Meanwhile, my coffee grounds I've been collecting in a big glass jar for exfoliating, has begun growing little mold spores.  Back to the fresh air with my coffee, waiting for the bunny to jump or be scooped up by a bird thrice it's size.  Happy Tuesday.

there are two mistakes ive made this morning.  

i cant seem to find a single place to buy a jar of nutella, which may be a sign all of its own.  i googled it and landed on the nutella website, which has a case of nutella one can enter to win. im entering, of course.  im at work and bored out of my mind.  and of course bc i dont need an entire case, or even want it, surely i will win it and become obesely fat. 

in entering, there's a silly little questionnaire dreamt up from their marketing team, here's a sample:  

*What is your favorite way to eat Nutella®? a. on bread, b. in a bagel, c. on crackers  d. on breadsticks  e.  by itself

*When do you most often eat Nutella®?  a. breakfast b.  lunch c.  after lunch snack d.  after dinner snack e.  other

i wish it had a fill in the blank instead of "other" and "by itself" with results shown, because frankly,  i'd like a more accurate count in knowing, exactly what others lke to put their nutella on and when they eat it. lets play "what should we do with nutella?"  midnight snack on  your finger, post bong hit snack on the lazy boy with nutella in between your partners' toes, or your dogs ear at sunday brunch-time, or my favorite, as frosting on my hash brownies.  

There's so many more options than the ones "the man" gives you.     Damn corporate America, damn you. 

Someone today mentioned Lenny Kravitz.  Okay, maybe it was me.   

Note to self:  

So while attempting to find the trailer for the new movie, 'Dear John', I found a break-up letter generator, kinda like mad-libs meets break up letters- it was really fun and while I'm not at all breaking up with anyone, nor have I in forever, here's one I know, in my University days, would've come in handy for my girlfriends and me.